One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. "Wake up now! It's time to go to school."
"I don't want to go to school," the son replied.
His mother said,"Give me two reasong why you don't want to go to school."
"Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
"Fine" the son added. "Then you should give two good reasons why i should go to school."
"One, you are 50 years old. Two, you are the principal of school."
A guy shows up late for work. The Boss yells,"You should have been here at 8:30!" He replies,"Why? What happened at 8:30?"
The surgeon told his patient who woke up after having been operated, "I am afraid we are going to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you"
"Well, if it just because of them, i'd rather pay for them if you just leave me alone."
"Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
A family just moved into their new home. When a neighbour asked five year old Tommy how he liked it.
"It's great," Tommy said. "I have my very own room and my brother sunny has his his own room, and anu has his own room too! but poor mom, she is still with dad..."
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please standup."
Right away little manish stood up.
The teacher said,"Why do you think you are stupid, Little Manish?"
"I don't mam, but i hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"