Skip to main content

Insuranse Jokes | Life Insurance Jokes | Funny Insurance Jokes | Insurance Claim Jokes | Short/Long/funny/good Jokes about Insurance

By Unknown
Funniest Jokes about Insurance and Insurance Agent. Enjoy them and if you have insurance joke that you would like to share it with us then feel free to submit it here.

  • An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.
    "I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?"
    "Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap."

  • Two women are playing golf when one of them ask the other, "Do you and your husband have mutual climax?"
    The other woman replies, "No, I think we have State Farm."

  • Life insurance agent to would-be client: "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

  • Confucius Say: Never argue with an idiot client. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

  • Q : What's the difference between an Actuary and the Mafia Don?
    A : The Actuary can tell you how many people will die this year. The Mafia Don can tell you the names of all of them.

  • A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
    "I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"

  • Life insurance agent to would-be client:
    "Don't let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know."

  • "Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client.
    "What do you mean?" countered the woman.
    "If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
    The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."

  • Insurance agents never retire, they just expire.
    Insurance agents are premium lovers.
    Insurance agents do it with third parties.

  • A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, "I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live."
    "Oh that's terrible," the woman sighs, "what am I going do?"
    The doctor replies, "Marry an insurance agent."
    "Will I live longer?" asks the woman. "
    No," replies the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer." ----Insurance Jokes

You may also like reading Life Quotes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Funny Tagalog Qoutes

By Unknown
Ultimate Collection of Funny Tagalog Qoutes and text messages: Alam mo miss na kita, kaso siya naman miss mo! lam mo mahal kita, kaso siya rin mahal mo! Siya na lang lagi! Kahit nasasaktan ka niya okay lang kasi mahal mo siya! Ang tanga mo no, parang ako! Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko, sabi ko okay lang, kahit wala ka, kaya ko. sabi ko tigilan mo na ko dahil kaya kong wala ka. sabi ko walang kwenta sa kin ang nangyari sa tin...pero bakit ang sakit sakit ng nararamdaman ng puso kong nangungulila dahil sayo...bakit mahal pa rin kita? Ito na siguro ang pinakahihintay kong araw...masasabi ko na yung bagay na gusto kong mangyari..matagal din akong naghintay..mahirap, pero nakaya ko! Haaay..sa wakas...... hindi na rin kita mahal! Naisip ko, bakit kaya ganun? May inaabot tayong mga bagay na parang perpekto na, pero kahit ano pang gawin, di talaga natin makuha. Tapos, dumating ka... Naiintindihan ko na Iiwan mo ko? Sayang!…mahal pa naman kita…sakin ah! Pero sabagay bat nga naman ako masas...
122 comments
Read more

Chuck Norris Jokes

By Unknown
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. There is no Life or Death, only Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking you in the face. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eye...
72 comments
Read more

Good Night SMS/Text Messages

By Unknown
It's a lovely msg to a lovely person from a lovely friend on a lovely reason at lovely time from a lovely mind in a lovely style to say u good night. somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone think in of u some where out there where dreams come true... goodnite & sweet dreams 2 you. On this cold cold nite,in My small small ROOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe! Hai Moon! Dim Your Light...Hello Wind ! Breeze soft..Hai flower! Blossom Slowly..Hello Earth! spin gently..Becoze My Dear friend is going to sleep!...Good Night. A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams... I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite....... At this moment 3.7 Millions are sleeping,2.3 Millions are f...
50 comments
Read more