Skip to main content

humorous quotes


  • A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ~Fred Allen

  • Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected. ---Unknown

  • There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
    STEVEN WRIGHT

  • The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life.- V.S. Pritchett

  • There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good
    sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
    -- Woody Allen

  • Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. ----Evan Esar

  • Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.----MarkTwain

  • This pig, is pig, a pig, good pig, way pig, to pig, keep pig, an pig, idiot pig, busy pig, for pig, 20 pig, seconds pig! ... Now read without the word pig.

  • Wherever I go, people are waving at me. Maybe if I do a good job, they'll use all their fingers. - Frank King, Winter Olympic Games organizing committee chairman.

  • You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. ---ELLEN DEGENERES

  • A rich man's joke is always funny ---- Thomas Browne, Sr.

  • Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. ----Horace Walpole English novelist

  • A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. – ----Theodore Roosevelt.

  • Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.--- Woody Allen

  • I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.---- Emo Philips

  • A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. ---Zsa Zsa Gabor

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Happy Birthday SMS/ Text Messages

Wishing u life soft as silkWhite as Milk as honey full of money may all ur dreams comes true and this wish is only 4 uHappy BirthdayI just saw the time & was wonder that its 18th Feb 2007 today birthday is this ?Then i got that my friend(brother) Ali was born axact 45 years before.Happy Birthday to u Dear.Ur Bday is Special dayOne thats just 4 u, A time 4 doing everything U especially like 2 doOn this day thats belong to u, This wish this greeting brings is 4 the joy so deserve and all life'z nicest things! Happy Bitrthday 2 U!Tumhari is ada ka kya jawad du, apne dost ko kya uphar du, koi accha sa phool hota to mali se mangvata, jo khud gulab hai usko kya gulab du...HAPPY BIRTHDAY My love. More laughs 4 lunch. Lots of happiness for dinner. Doctor's fee? An sms when u r free.
Some people like sunday,Some people like monday, However i just like only one day, Its your birthday… Happy Birthday..Flying papers, multi colours of balloon, delicated blossom, fantastic people, love a…

Good Night SMS/Text Messages

It's a lovely msg to a lovely person from a lovely friend on a lovely reason at lovely time from a lovely mind in a lovely style to say u good night.somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone think in of u some where out there where dreams come true... goodnite & sweet dreams 2 you. On this cold cold nite,in My small small ROOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe! Hai Moon! Dim Your Light...Hello Wind ! Breeze soft..Hai flower! Blossom Slowly..Hello Earth! spin gently..Becoze My Dear friend is going to sleep!...Good Night. A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams... I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite....... At this moment 3.7 Millions are sleeping,2.3 Millions are fallin…

Sad Death Quotes

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death. (Quote by author ----William Shakespeer)Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. (Quote by author ---Benjamin Franklin )All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. (Death Quote by author ----Maurice Maeterlinck)Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. (Quote by author ----Bertolt Brecht)I know death hath ten thousand several doorsFor men to take their exit. (Quote by author --- John Webster)I feel no pain dear mother now,
But oh, I am so dry!
O take me to a brewery,
And leave me there to die. (Quote by author --- Anonymous)Life does not cease to be funny when people dieany more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. (quote By Author --- George Bernard Shaw)A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. (Quote by aut…