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Teacher Jokes


  • Teacher: Brandy tells me something about the people of the 18th century??
    Brandy: They are all DEAD

  • Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
    Pupil: I get up early!

  • Student 1: (to female teacher) Can you hold on to my wallet for me while we take the exam? There may or may not be money in it.
    Teacher: I can't be bought!
    Student 2: Yes, but can you be rented for a little while?

  • Teacher :What happened in 1869?
    Student:Gandhi ji was born.
    Teacher :What happened in 1873?
    Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

  • Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
    STUDENT:32 yrs.
    Teacher:How do you know?
    STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

  • Question:What is the fullform of maths.
    Anwser: Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

  • Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?
    Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

  • Teacher Where does God live?
    Manoj I think he lives in our bathroom.
    Teacher Why do you say that?
    Manoj Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God,are you still in there?'

  • A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

  • Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
    Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

  • TEACHER: Sumit, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
    people are no longer interested?
    Sumit : A teacher.

  • TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
    DESMOND: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

  • Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?
    Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt holidays!

  • Teacher: 'A' for?
    Student: Apple !!!
    Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
    Student: JAI MATA DI

  • Teacher:Rahul Tell Me Which Shoes Are The Best?
    Rahul:I Don't Know Ma'm,But I Know That Bananas Make The Best Slippers.

  • Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
    Student : "The moon".
    Teacher : "Why?"
    Student : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

  • TEACHER: Rohit, why do you always get so dirty?
    Rohit: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

  • TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges
    in the other, what would I have?
    Student: Big hands.

  • Teacher: Amit, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?
    Amit: Not a bit!

  • Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
    Student: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!


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