Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. There is no Life or Death, only Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking you in the face. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eye