Adult Text Messages

• Teacher ek student se: “batao ladkiyaan kya nahi pehan sakti hai?”
  Ladka: “ji CONDOM”

• Thandi Hai Coffee Garam Karlo
  Is Pathar Dil Ko Thora Sa Naram Karlo
  Morning Time se Inbox Khali Hai Mera
  Thori Si to Yaro Sharam Karlo

• Sardar to milkman: yaar tum 2 din se kyon nahi aa rahay thay??
  Milkman: aap ki bhabhi ki tabeeat kharab thi
  Sardar: to koi baat nahi! bhains ka doodh he le aatay!

• Gandoo ki 3 nishaniyan:
  1. Hamesha bewaqt miss call dega.
  2. Gande Gande SMS muskra kar parhe ga.
  3. Don't scroll down:
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  Jis baat ko mana karo wo zaroor kare ga.

• AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
  LERKI : VO KIYOO
  LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI

• Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti
  Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti

• Khussra wanted to join army and after medical check up the doctor said that u r
  rejected bcoz u dont have LUN. Khussara answered : ooyyyee tussii bandook chalwani hai ya bund marwani hai!!!

• Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
  cold,naked,thinking of u,
  missing ur warmth,
  ur soft touch against my skin.
  Where were u “lastnite”

• I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!

• A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
  and
  say
  that i will do anything to pass in the exams
  and professor says
  NOW OPEN YOUR
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  .
  Books And Study

• Bus driver k peache betha bacha shor ker raha tha
  Ager meri maa hathni or bap hathi hota to main chota hathi hota!
  Ager meri maa cow or bap bull hota to main chota bull hota.
  Is terhan janwaro k naam lieye,
  Itne main Bus driver ghusse main bola,
  ager teri maa randi or bap gandu hota to tuh kia hota?
  Bacha: BUS DRIVER!!

• Teacher: why are you late?
  Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
  Teacher(Angrily): Can"t your dad to it?
  Student: No, only BULL can do it

• FRAZ rfom Graveyard :
  Aj kul larkoon k hontoon pe ubharta hai Fraz,
  In ki gand main sholay sa Q jalta hai Fraz
  kartay hain maan chudaiyaan takhallus se mere,
  Har sher ki maan chod kr laga daitay hain Fraz
  Shayed in ki kisi Fraz ne mari hai Gaand,
  Ya phir Chod k in ki behnoon ko bhaga tha Fraz
  .
  .
  Khabardar jo kisi ne ab ruswa kiya mjay,
  
  Gaand main ghuss k phat jaye ga Fraz

• chikne ladkon ka tujh per noor barse , harpathan teri dosti ko tarse , khuda kare teri zindagi main itnain pathan ahee k tu ek minute bhi sharwar pehnne ko tarsey.

• 1 makhi ganjay k sir per ja bethi, Dosri makhi nay kaha, “Wah kia ghar mila hai tujhey” Pehli makhi boli: “Kahan yaar, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai”

• Rs 1450: baby food
  Rs 1000: doctor fee
  Rs 950: medicine
  Rs 800: toys
  Rs 500: diapers
  Rs 300:baby powder
  total
  Rs 5000
  
  
  or
  
  condom
  Rs 5 ----faisla aap per hai

• Car sales girl to call girl :
  Aaj agar car na biki to mera baja baj jayega.
  Call Girl:
  aur aaj agar mera BAJA na baja to meri car bik jayegi

• Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
  Friend : Acha wo kaise?
  
  Sardar : Yar kal wo bathtub
  mai bhi security guard k sath thi…

• sher da puttar Sardar told his son: ‘‘o tu ghabra mat, tu to sher da puttar hai.‘‘ Beta:‘‘papaji,Class teacher bhi yehi bolti Hai k tu kisi jaanwar ki Hi aulad hai‘‘

• SEX At 8-ignor it,
  At 18-feel it
  At 28-xplor it
  At 38-enjoy it
  At 48-pay 4 it,
  At 58-pray 4 it,
  At 68-beg 4 it,
  At 88-Ab mar bhi jaa hawas k pujari..

• Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai

• A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"